The dark of night. A uterus begins to itch.
—
A Brooklyn bar, the one with the wood. GUY #1 is visiting from San Francisco for the holidays, out with his old, local friend GUY #2.
GUY #1: This bar, whoa the wood, blah blah blah sex. Everyone in San Francisco thinks everyone in Brooklyn is getting laid all the time.
GUY #2: Everyone in Brooklyn IS getting laid all the time because everyone in Brooklyn’s wife wants a baby.
—
Mid-morning, the Temescal Oakland farmer’s market, the outskirts of the line for coffee. GUY #17 is monologizing at GUY #18.
GUY #17: …so I told her, I said, it’s cool we can have kids but I am not getting married. I do not breed in captivity….
—
Bar area of [fashionable Oakland club], ROWENA and HER FRIENDS are out to celebrate Rowena’s thirtieth birthday .
GIRL#I SAY 14 BUT IT’S ACTUALLY A BIT HIGHER: Did you go to Rowena’s birthday brunch this morning?
GUY #62: Naw—you know when I turned thirty, couple years ago, it was the summer I was sleeping with Rowena, she got me a cupcake. So for this I was like, I am going to [raises an illustrative index] ONE event.
CUT to the hands of DIAGETIC DJ, who has until now only been seen in the distance over GUY #62′s shoulder. DIAGETIC DJ drops the needle on Shocking Blue’s Love Machine. CLOSE on the spinning record. SLOW FADE to a spinning ovum, shining white and recently fertilized. It is being turned by the surrounding unsuccessful sperm (played by GUYS #1-61, excluding #2) all working-wiggling in concert. WIDE to reveal this is happening on the dance floor of [fashionable Oakland club]. GUY #62 approaches from the bar, takes a place among the sperm, puts his shoulder to the ovum. FADE to black.
